Thursday, 21 January 2010

fpf?=25: Looking for meaning in the bottom of a GnR lyric

(written 21 January 2010)

My 2 crowning achievements this week:
1: I exploded a car while I was in it. I drove so badly that my car exploded with me and my crapola cousin Roman in it. We died.
2: I was chasing some punk-ass motherfucker to put some heat on him so he would cough up the money he owed my local crime lord – as you do – and I drove off the road and into the ocean. My car went under. I died.
Other than that I beat my girlfriend at darts – and smacked a homeless dude with a baseball bat that someone gave me. He didn’t have any money. I’m trying to get to meet the chick who licks the lollipop (she’s in all the publicity shots) but I suspect she’s on the other island that I can’t get to yet because I don’t know where to steal a helicopter from, and she might only talk to me if I can figure out how to shave and take a bath.

…oh right – this is all in Grand Theft Auto. I also did loads of noteworthy stuff this week but helping to set up an improved work-management system isn’t quite as scintillating as the GTA stuff.

That’s even better than I could have hoped for. I figured it would be cool to start this bit about the ice-skating by heading it with the German word for ice-skating (free popularist-writing tip) and well look at that! Schlittschuhlaufen! That’s what the Taiwanese call a humdinger. Say “Frederick! That’s my umbrella!” if you’ve heard this story before: Sandy (7), Tom (10) and their parents travel to Switzerland to experience the wonders of the ski-slopes, wearing nothing but the 5 all-purpose KnitWitts suits that their mother has created for them so that they won’t need to pack things like t-shirts, jeans and other clothes that allow them to fit in with the other kids at ski-school. Day 1 starts with a bus ride to the slopes where Tom and Sandy join the queue for tickets on the ride-of-death that is the t-bar ski-lift. At the kiosk, they hand over their kroner. The lady in the kiosk hands them their tickets, smiles and says “Gute Fahrt”. Tom (10) laughs out loud and repeats the word to the lady and to his parents. He tells them that she said gute fahrt. He tells them this a few times as they walk away from the lady in the kiosk. And then they go skiing, although Tom’s father who would prefer the gentle cross-country routes, goes in for langlaufen.

This week’s poem is entitled “desk #2”. According to Microsoft’s ultra communication skills I wrote the original “desk” at Thu 2008/06/12 08:45 PM.


A wonderwoman, superglue
Some slender slips of stick-it notes
A ball of string, a telephone
That’s probably my folks
An empty cup
A betty-boop
An elmer fudd
A prestic duck
A USB stick - maybe its
Got KISS or Queen or Sha-na-na
An iPod shuffle charging up
A map of my computer game
A sharpener shaped like a heart
I never quite know how to start


We used to have studded fingerless gloves because we were cool,


No comments:

Post a Comment